“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” – Carl Jung
We know that our life experiences are shaped by what we think, therefore, when we spend our time living according to the limiting beliefs we are raised with, we stifle our own growth and prolong our unhappy lives. Limiting beliefs are detrimental to our health and strangle us as “victims” forever, especially if we don’t change them.
In this article, we’re diving into the concept of turning limiting beliefs into empowering ones that will change your life. When you identify a limiting belief and choose an empowering one, you change your energy, and thus, you change your life.
What I Was Made To Believe As a Child
As a child, I believed I had no power, that I didn’t matter, and that my role was being the caregiver, mediator, and peacemaker. I was the one who was supposed to do things for others over myself, at all costs. Everyone else’s needs, comfort levels, and desires were more important than my own. I thought this was normal. Can you relate to that?
My mother taught me it wasn’t nice to say something nice about myself, because it was considered “conceited”, and that was an ugly trait. Being smart didn’t necessarily make me popular either, so I pretended I wasn’t that smart in school, even losing spelling bees on purpose! That’s right, on purpose! Can you imagine that? I used to do that so people wouldn’t think I was smart, or conceited, and thus I thought they would like me.
Since my empathetic nature was in comforting others, I made sure everyone else’s needs were met over mine. I constantly put myself last. Making other people’s feelings more important than my own became my natural inclination.
The impact of limiting beliefs on self-worth
Limiting beliefs make you feel BAD, make you feel “less than”, “not enough”, and so on. The familiar belief that I was unworthy to “receive” continued popping up throughout my life. I didn’t know if I had permission to receive or not. I was too busy taking care of others.
Moreover, when you have no real joy role models living in your house growing up, it’s hard to “know” what joy feels like. One of my clients also grew up in a household with no joyful role models. She shared with me that she didn’t think she could ever feel joy, because she didn’t know what joy felt like. Coming from a similar household, I helped her to FIND a way to FEEL and EXPERIENCE joy. She had to retrain and rewire her brain, choosing to empower her beliefs.
Importance of ‘joy’ in childhood
If your childhood was joyful, then it’s probably easier for you to embrace joy. Permitting yourself to have joy is empowering. For me, I can only remember snippets of joyful moments.
To tell you the truth, my memories lean more toward frenetic energy. We all walked on eggshells, trying to be invisible. I wish I could say my mom was a source of comfort, but she had her own problems. She did not have the ability to comfort us.
Being spiritual beings having a human experience, it’s the human part, that’s the bumpy ride. I am drawn to teaching courses that help people navigate our human experience through the soul’s perspective. Our souls are excited to experience being human, hopefully with as much ease and grace as possible. It’s become my joy to help others find their joy.
Transforming limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs
Learning to shift limiting beliefs to empowering beliefs has literally saved my life. There were several times in my life when I wanted to die. I let everything and everybody around me dictate my lack of worthiness and well-being. After all, I was trained that way. Wasn’t I just a product of the thoughts I was given? How could I change anything? Who was I anyway? Nobody special.
Changing my thinking has helped me in my life. I figured it would help you too, so you can live the life you love living, as I am now. Finally!
To live a Yummy Delicious Life, we must identify and address any limiting beliefs that stand in our way. If we don’t understand which beliefs are driving our actions, we are living in the dark, unconscious, and on auto pilot. To be happy and live a meaningful, fulfilling life, we must look within ourselves first.
As children, we don’t know whether any beliefs are “true”. We just accept them because our parents passed them down, “as if” they were true. So, we live our lives with that same reflection. Little do we know that our parents, too, had limiting beliefs that were passed down to them from their parents. The cycle just continued from generation to generation. UNTIL we say NO MORE.
Challenging the concept of ‘selfish’ and the importance of advocating for oneself
There are beliefs that, until now, have been considered “selfish”. Don’t get me started on the notion of “selfish” because I could talk about that in a whole other blog. If you’re living according to someone else’s expectations, you’re not living according to your own notion of “selfish.” You’re living out their idea of how you “should” be living, which in the end is “their” idea/their selfish.
Rabbi Hillel said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?” It’s time to take hold of these limiting beliefs; declare UNAPOLOGETICALLY for your success. Replace the limiting beliefs with empowering ones.
So, how do we do that? As with any GPS, two pieces of information are crucial in getting you to your destination. You must identify:
- Where you are.
- Where you want to go.
Let’s look at 14 limiting beliefs that I thought were true growing up. Maybe you can relate to a few yourself.
MY LIMITING BELIEFS
- I don’t matter. Who am I to think I can make a difference? I am no one special.
- Other people’s needs, comforts, and desires are more important than my own.
- It’s up to me to “make” others happy.
- “Happenstance” rules our lives. We are affected by outside circumstances, people’s moods, or the economy.
- If I admit I’m smart, people won’t like me.
- If I say nice things about myself, I’m conceited, and that is an ugly trait.
- I am not worthy to receive love.
- It’s not okay to ask for help and support.
- It’s not okay to be successful.
- I must be “less than” to be liked.
- I don’t have a right to be happy.
- I am a victim.
- My love can melt someone’s heart open and make them happy.
- I’m not enough to be successful.
That’s a whole lot of limiting beliefs that shaped my life. UNTIL I finally found ways to pluck those beliefs off the “BEleaf Tree” and change them into empowering beliefs.
14 EMPOWERING BELIEFS
- I matter, I have value. I make a difference in the world by being authentically me. I have much to contribute.
- It’s up to me to take care of my own needs, comforts, and desires.
- I cannot “make” anyone happy. It’s my responsibility to find ways to keep myself happy.
- I live from the inside out, creating a sense of peace and well-being, and navigating with a sense of ease and grace.
- It’s fun to be smart. I have stimulating conversations. People like me this way.
- Acknowledging, validating, and healthily praising myself keeps me from needing outside approval and overcompensating.
- I am worthy to receive, to be loved.
- I am a good human being who is kind, thoughtful, and caring. I deserve to be helped and supported.
- It’s okay to be unapologetically successful. It’s part of being able to receive.
- I have value. I am enough just the way I am. I do not have to be “less than” for others to feel comfortable or for people to like me.
- Being happy is my birthright. I get to enjoy this human experience with gusto and passion.
- I am not a victim, never was a victim, and never will be a victim.
- My love cannot open anyone’s heart if they don’t want it opened. I can’t care more about them than they do.
- I believe I can do whatever I set my mind to doing.
Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
So many sages have carved out quotes like this for us to ponder. What’s important is to break open the limiting beliefs that run your life, choose other beliefs and ACT on them in some way.
In summary, you CAN do this! You CAN CHANGE your limiting beliefs to empowering ones. I’m telling you, if I can do it, you can do it. Believe me. It’s been challenging, but what the heck? What else more important is there to “do” than to manage our energy and feel happier, more joyful, and more fulfilled? Life is supposed to be an interesting journey. Make it so.
Become the CEO of your own life (Chief Energy Officer). Invest in yourself. Find courses, mentors, programs, books, teachers, and like-minded friends who resonate with you. Take the time to study your human/spiritual dynamic.
You can retrain, rewire, and reframe your thoughts. Take the time. You’re worth it. Practice changing your thoughts, your behavior, and your language every day. Practice constantly reminding yourself to look at life differently from your soul’s perspective. So that you can be happy every day, not just some days. What a novel idea, eh?
It’s your life. Enjoy the journey. And remember to bring love into everything you do.