Sometimes, we as humans, like to gloss over our stuff that’s sitting beneath what we say and do, often responding when someone asks what’s going on, by saying, “All is well,” when in fact, all may not really be well. We may even be holding onto feelings like anger, resentment, grudges, or even jealousy under the surface that make us feel bad. It seems like it’s a lot “easier” to blame others for how we feel, and not really look at how we are behaving and how others are reacting from our behavior.
Sure, being positive is part of the dynamic that helps us stay in a positive mindset, but if you are experiencing dissatisfying relationships with others, then you may not really be owning your own stuff. By not being conscious of how you do or say what you do or say, being oblivious or insensitive of how it truly affects others in a negative way, it could just very well mean that you are not genuinely owning your own stuff. It is up to you to own your own stuff, to own YOUR part in creating every one of your less than wonderful experiences.
Do you know people in your life that never fess up to owning their own stuff? It’s frustrating because there is nowhere to go with that. They think it’s everyone ELSE that’s responsible for feeling miserable or for not feeling happy and “that’s” the reason they are heated. When you give the remote control to someone else and make them responsible for how you feel, you begin to feel like a prisoner in your own life.
Stop giving the remote control to anyone.
Stop giving someone else the power over you, “making” you go into defense mode. Stop, and look at the part YOU are playing in the dynamics of ALL the relationships you have, starting with the one you have with yourself, between your human and your soul. Is that a healthy relationship? Are you as kind as you can be to yourself and others?
If you are impatient or judgmental about other people’s behavior, holding unconscious, unrealistic expectations, and you use heated energy with words/tone to express yourself (that could be construed as anger), and your response is, “That’s just who I am. I am a passionate person,” you just might be using the word “passionate” to cover up real feelings of anger and judgment that is going on underneath and not wanting to own that. What happens in this case, is that you put the onus onto someone else, and if they react to you, it’s “he” or “she” that is overreacting. If you’re not happy with someone else’s behavior, take a deeper look at yourself in the mirror to see what it about yourself that might be causing the reaction.
It takes two to tango. BE the one who fesses up as quickly as possible. BE the one who shifts the energy by deciding that you are committed to changing the way you feel without blaming others. BE the person who comes from the heart, and not the head/ego. Don’t be the one with that terrible disease, called, “Fingerpointyitus”, pointing the finger out and blaming others for how YOU feel. Take responsibility and own your own stuff. I’m telling you, it’s much easier to navigate with a sense of ease and grace when you do this.
Hope that sheds some light on something in your life. If you would like to take a deeper dive check out the free masterclass, Soul Diving with Joy.
It’s your life. Enjoy the journey. And remember to bring love into everything you do.